Obesity and sexual life
Interview with Patrice Cudicio, MD
- Do obese give up their sexual life because of
their problem?
For the obeses, sexuality is a problem, in addition to others. Now,when
obesity gradually becomes established, we can rightly wonder if they had
not renounced their sex life before.
Generally, overweight people feel devalued in terms of their social image,
then relationships with others get much complicated. Currently, there
is a vast movement of obeses “criminalization”, they are designated
as guilty, giving up a sex life can also be understood as a punishment.
Now, there are also obese that accept both volume and weight, and are
satisfied with their sexual life.
- What is the justification for this renunciation?
Self representation, fear of being rejected, malaise that accompanies
obesity, sense of failure faced with the difficulty of losing weight all
these themes are frequently pointed out to explain that obese give up
their sexual life. We can also elicit the habit of frustration compensating
in the act of eating, oral becomes the sole source of pleasure.
- What are the most frequent sexual problems at the obese women?
In the cases of very important obesity, the sexual intercourse is impossible
for evident reasons, corporeal volume at the level of thighs and belly
forbids penetration.The absentia of desire and pleasure is also very frequent.
It does not seem, mostly, to exist at the woman's any organic cause in
these sexual disorders as hormonal problems for example. However, it is
important to look for them, especially a thyroid problem as a hypothyroidism.
At the men?
Erectile dysfunctions are the main difficulty of the obese man; and it
can have an organic origin especially if this obesity enters within the
framework of a metabolic syndrome which associates with the excess weight
a high physical index of mass, superior to 30, a hypercholesterolemia,
an arterial high blood pressure.
It is also frequent that this obesity comes along with sleep apneas evoked
in case of sleep disorders and of snores. These apneas represent a risk
of erectile dysfunction, but also and especially the cardiovascular, coronary
or other risk.
It is also possible to discover an increase of oestrogens at the obese
man. We know that these hormones have a completely negative effect on
the desire and the erection.
Finally the size of the penis can seem decreased because of the pubic
greasy plastron which partially absorbs the penis length. And when we
know the importance which the man attaches to his instrument, we can understand
that he can develop a feeling of depreciation and thus " of impotence
".
Now, there is also a case of the couples among which only the one is obese.
The absentia of desire of the not obese partner is also very frequent.
- Does obesity forbid the seduction?
Yes if the image of self is very altered, to seduce, it is necessary to
feel desirable. The risk-taking of the seductive attitude can also forbid
any initiative in this way. Many obese young ladies feel humbled at the
idea of entering a step of seduction, indeed, they consider that regarding
their physical appearance they have to accept any partner, even any sexual
experience.
The fear of rejection, the solitude can also activate an attitude which
we could consider as consumerist. The quantity replaces the quality in
a sort of flight forward which, in the finale brings only not enough satisfaction.
- In a couple, if one becomes obese, it can put
out the desire of the other one?
It is indeed a reason frequently called to justify the extinction of desire.
It is necessary to put it in perspective with a sexual life previously
little gratifying. Seing his (her) partner becoming obese can cool the
desire, as far as the sexual act becomes difficult to carry out. The obesity
of the one soon establishes an unbridgeable barrier and the sexual pleasure
becomes inaccessible. This established fact can contribute to strengthen
the search for the other gratification means.
- Does obesity can be a good pretext to refuse sexual relations?
It is indeed the reason which seems strong enough, and it especially since
the image of the obese man(woman) is heavily penalized.
- The idea to lose weight often provokes a fear,
why?
Losing weight has for consequence to replace the person in the "competition".
What we refrain from ourselves because of weight becomes henceforth possible,
the more the obesity is ancient and the more the image of self is depreciated.
The loss of weight does not resolve the psychological and social difficulties.
If the obesity can be understood as a barrier, it also means, if raised
time, we feel vulnerable. Numerous persons having been obese are for a
long time, even always incapable to show "normal", they continue
to feel "fat". Becoming thin represents only a sort of bracket.
The loss of weight, to remain stable should come along with a psychological
work to be able to identify as "slender", "light",
instead of thinking "big”, “fat" and "heavy".
- When we are obese, we can have a fulfilling sexuality?
Fortunately, yes! Certain persons are more attracted by the round, reassuring
and protecting silhouettes. The artists often represented buxom women
whose body seems dedicated to the sensual pleasure. Such silhouettes are
not maybe fashionable compared to the current tendencies, it does not
mean that they have disappeared from the erotic universe.
- What advice(councils) would you give to an obese woman? A man?
At first eliminate an organic cause in these problems.Then, learn to self
consider with benevolence, to like one’s body. It is then necessary
to discover or rediscover sensual pleasures.
