Baby on board... Pregnancy and sexuality
Delay in starting again?
The fatigue and the need for sleep inhibit
sexual desire and make the partners less available. The residual weight
sometimes disgusts the woman of herself, she refuses this new physical
aspect of herself, and does not anymore see herself as desirable, so she
often rejects any erotic contact. An adapted diet is advised, but meanwhile,
love and desire should improve self confidence, then why go without it?
Sometimes perineal pains connected to episiotomy cicatrisation are not
helping, and the sexual area is then experienced as painful. If the women
fears the pain, or in case of a bad cicatrisation, pain can even more
increase. In these cases it is necessary to consult a doctor. Some positions,
less stimulating for those specific zones could then be advised: the woman
being on top of her partner, or the man and the woman lying side by side.
Let us not forget the fear of waking up or disturb the child, or even
his presence (his actual presence in the room or at an unconscious level)
which hinders the intimacy. Furthermore, the change of "status"
within the couple can perturb one (or both) partner who does not find
his (her) lover's place in the new parental couple, and do not manage
to stack couple life with family life.
When difficulties persist, it generally means they were already latent
before the birth. In that case the couple, if it feels the need, can consult
a sex therapist. If the couple does not dare, we deeply advise the women
to take the time for a good reconciliation with her body and feel free
to experiment some desire without letting the unspoken dig an abyss in
the couple. Communication is one of the best therapies when the couple
is having troubles.
