Baby on board... Pregnancy and sexuality
And after the birth?
If a gentle and tender sexual life is
maintained till the end of the pregnancy, the couple has more chances
to recover it after the birth. However, young moms have to cope with time
and should not precipitate. A first bad experience can hinder the good
progress of the resumption of a fulfilling sexuality. In the days and
weeks which follow the birth, the young mother is focused on her baby.
Her partner obviously plays an important role but often more as father
than as lover. To reintroduce him in an intimacy it is necessary to keep
for him a different, privileged place apart from the child.
The erotic life in a couple must not be a duty. Escapades, « you
and me » culture, massages, sweet caresses, playful atmosphere,
sharing feelings and pleasures, are advised if the couple want to rebuild
its erotic culture. In other words, it is necessary to « steal »
some moments to the baby, to be together and find a new intimacy in a
private space for the couple. This contributes to prepare slowly but certainly
the return of sexuality, when the woman will feel ready physically and
psychically in a climate of agreement and mutual respect.
The sexuality can start again as soon as the couple wishes it and as soon
as all the regions will have recovered a normal aspect: the well closed
cervix, the disappearance of lochia (serosanguineous drainages after the
childbirth); disappearance of pains and a good cicatrisation of the episiotomy
(5 to15 days or so). This period is variable from a woman to the other;
the average is approximately of one month.
One should not forget the use of contraceptives, since a new pregnancy
is indeed possible before the return of menses even if the woman is breast-feeding.
At this stage, the lubrication is sometimes less intense and longer to
occur; the use of lubricants is then recommended and is not abnormal.
If the feeding disturbs the sexuality, the spouse should not settle a
rivalry between the child and the father, but could substitute for a moment
this erotic zone by another one, and get back to it later... The vagina,
even if it has been distended during the childbirth, quickly gets back
to its normal shape and elasticity. The perineal reeducation will strengthen
the muscle structure around the vagina. Statistically, the sexuality starts
again for the majority of the couples seven weeks after the childbirth.
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