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Vaginisme
"Tour
d’acier impénétrable" |
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Vaginism, unbreakable fortress…
By the means of involuntary contractions of the
pelvic floor muscles, vaginismus forbids any attempt of vaginal
penetration (finger, tampon, speculum, penis) and is therefore
a sexual disorder that affects many couples, especially at procreation
stage. This disorder is actually not incompatible with a pleasurable
sex life (penetration kept aside), which can sometimes be satisfactory
and sufficient for these couples… until they wish to have
children.
A psycho-physiological deadlock... in a healthy body:
From the anatomic perspective, the genitals are most of the time
“normal”, but the muscles contraction preventing all
kind of penetration can be a source of problems, from a slight
incomfort to a burning feeling or a strong tearing pain. We usually
distinguish between to types of vaginism: The primary one concerns
young women still virgin, on their very first attempts of penetration.
The secondary one can occur after a fairly normal sex life, most
of the time as a consequence of a trauma or dispareunia.
Any attempt of gynecological examination is therefore impossible.
By “locking” their legs and moving their body backwards,
women protect themselves. Such a primal fear behavior goes together
with a strong contraction of the anal muscles.
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«
Je fais tourner mes vices dans tes nerfs d’acier
Et toi belle écrevisse tu visses tes tours d’acier
Pour ne pas que je rentre »
« La peur de l’o » Mouzannar
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Vaginism: Causes
The absence of a proper sexual education can be at the origin
of the problem, genitals considered dirty and disgusting and sexuality,
disgraceful. Since masturbation is sometimes completely banned,
those women have absolutely no knowledge of their own intimate
parts, and never had the chance to look at themselves in a mirror
to “explore” their own genitals. They imagine that
their vagina is a very narrow channel protected by a thick hymen.
Hence, they live any attempt of penetration as an assault, potentially
causing tremendous pain. Vagina does not enter into account at
all when it comes to consider their body. In this scheme, the
male’s penis is feared as a dagger.
Sometimes, the woman knows her own body, but the latter protects
itself against any attempt of penetration, through an unintentional
« deadlock ». Past traumas are often encountered in
this case, should they involve childhood or adult assaults or
even rape.
Sometimes also, an unconscious problem can interfere (latent homosexuality,
sexual phobia, fear of getting pregnant…). In those cases,
the classical sex therapies will be unefficient.
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The existing options for treatment
Referring to a sex therapist is of course advisable. He will propose
a couple’s therapy allowing the woman to discover her own
anatomy and physiology. Together with her companion, she will
slowly apprehend (at a mental stage at first, then physically)
her vagina in order to make it “hers” again, and will
then disable this protection mecanism. The therapist could also,
depending on his background, propose a psychotherapeutic follow-up
or relaxation sessions…
More complex situations can be observed, for which a deeper approach
is required (such as analysis), leading to solve the unconscious
conflicts that may disrupt the sex therapy. Hypnotherapy
allows resolving vaginismus in a few sessions, nowadays, il appears
as the most efficient and realistic therapy.
Prior to the therapy: a few tips...
As a first step, it is mandatory to restore trust and “security”
in the couple. Replacing unsuccessful attempts of penetration
by tender cuddling involving massages and light touch.
Meanwhile, learn about your anatomy, with documentation at first,
then with a mirror, preferably after a warm bath. Once you manage
to proceed without any stress or tension, start exploring your
vulva from the outside using a lubricated finger... Along this
process, you will discover the entrance of your vagina, and as
soon as you feel ready for it, slowly introduce this finger inside
this warm and humid cavity. Also learn to contract and release
your perivaginal muscles around your finger. Once this is done
with two fingers and without any pain, you can guide your companion’s
lubricated fingers for the same experience. The next step will
consist in rubbing your vulva with your companion’s lubricated
penis, while riding him. By controlling your moves and his, and
as soon as you feel ready, let your vagina “take”
your lover slowly.
This process is of course easier to handle in the frame of a therapy,
which will quicken the settlement of the problem within a few
months, depending on each problematic situation.
Dr Sandrine Atallah |
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